I Need You Lord, Oh I Need You

"Lord I need you, Oh I need you. Every hour I need you" Forgive me Father for believing I can do anything on my own. Forgive me for running in the rain and forgetting to stop and dance. Forgive me for chasing after life and not remembering who gave me the breath of life. Forgive me for underestimating how much I need your son, your love, your grace, your peace, and most importantly, you. Forgive me for seeking after the treasures of earth rather than the treasures of the heavenly home you are preparing for me. Father, you know me from the inside out. You know me better than I know myself and you know my sins even before I commit them. You know my heart aches before I can encounter them. You know whether I will wake or breathe my last, whether I'll speak or shy away. You know. There is absolutely nothing about me that you do not know, whether it be past, present, or future. "Be thou my vision oh Lord of my heart." Every day, minute, second, you are there. You are guiding me. You are my vision. I am given a choice to follow you, on a path that may not be straight and often hazy, or to run, far, far away and dig a deep dark hole. One will grant me eternal life with you, the other eternal torture. Running always seems so much easier, to just give everything up and not worry about being "the perfect Christian", because is all the time spent at church and studying His word really worth it? Yes. It is so worth it. Though the path may be rough and you get beaten, bruised, and when you just don't want to finish the race, remember why you started it in the first place, because with out God's love, mercy, and grace, you would not even have the option between life or death. Every single person deserves death. I chose to start my race at a young age, but honestly did not understand the true essence of who God was until I was in high school. My Father in heaven is the only reason I can wake up in the morning and no matter the tasks to be finished that day or the pain in my heart I can say, "It is well with my soul". I don't care who you think you are, you are absolutely nothing with out God. I am far from perfect, in fact I am one of the clumsiest people you will ever meet. I don't have all the answers, I don't have everything figured out, I can't tell the future, and I make many mistakes, but what I do know is that when the waves of life come crashing down, I know that my Savior will always be there with a hand reached out, and when pride smacks me in the face and I'm left with nothing, but what the mess I have created I have no choice, but to humbly lay down all that I am at the feet of Jesus. "Blessed be the name of the Lord. He gives and takes away, but blessed be the name of the Lord." I don't have all that I want, but I have all that I need. I don't agree with all the answers God gives me, but His will be done. I have much taken from me, but I have been given so much more. Being a Christian does not mean I have it all together, it means I admit I am broken and I need a savior. It means that because I confess and know I am a sinner and accept God's FREE gift I am saved from the torture I deserve. It means that even though I will constantly choose to run rather than stay on the hazy path, his grace will capture me every time if I accept it. Being a Christian does NOT mean I am some judgey snob, who thinks I am better than everyone else. It simply means I have a reason to be joyful and smile. Being a Christian does NOT mean I have the Bible memorized or that I am some weird freak. It means I try my best to hide God's word in my heart and only want to share the same hope I have with those around me. Being a Christian does NOT mean I will tackle people and force them to listen to the gospel. I will more than likely not walk up to random strangers and start talking about Jesus. I want to get to know you and if I do talk to you about Jesus, please do not be offended, it just means that I love you and truly care about you and that this is important to me. Every one should have the opportunity to hear of this, "Wonderful, merciful, Savior, who rescues the souls of man." It is "in Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song. " Even at the deepest and darkest points in my life His light is still present. When the going gets rough, the light dims, and you can't seem to hear God's voice no matter how long and hard you listen, remember that though it seemed that God talked to people like Moses, Daniel, and David all the time that he only spoke to them a few times through out their hundreds of years of life. Just because it may appear that the Lord is silent does not mean He is absent. All you need to do is pray. When all hope seems lost, pray. When you can't bear to see the sun another day, pray. When all you see is gray, pray. When you feel like you have lost and want to give in, pray. Praying is more than walking around and talking into thin air. Praying is having a conversation with your best friend. No roaming fees, no limit, and a 24/7 connection. Praying is not some magic wand that you can use when you want something, its should be your lifeline. A day with prayer is far better than a day without. "How deep the Father's love for us," that He allows us to live this life for Him, yet He does not force it upon anyone, you always have a choice. For me, "My heart will sing no other name, but Jesus." With out God, I am nothing but a ticking time bomb. All I need is Him, "you can have all this world, just give me Jesus." I have so many reasons to despise God, but my life compared to the horror Jesus endured is not even worth comparison. "The son of man came to seek and save the lost." Christianity should not be about religion, it should be about a relationship. Jesus didn't socialize with the "religious", he loved the poor, need, prostitutes, tax collectors, and lame. He loved the one the world loved to hate, yet his life was taken from him and he was beaten beyond recognition. He endured a life of misery to knowing I may not choose to love Him back. He was crucified to give a worthless sinner like me a choice to serve him, so "with a thankful heart I will serve the Lord." All I can give Him in return is my heart, but that is all He has ever wanted, and "all I can do is say thank you." Thank you Jesus. Forgive this needy soul, because Lord I will never stop needing you. Apart from you Lord, there is no hope, purpose, or even life. "Riches I heed not, nor mans empty praise." Lord, your kingdom come and your will be done, I pray you lead me and I follow. Lord I need you now and forevermore, may I never forget just how much you sacrificed for a soul like me.