Can I just say that I am so thankful for weekends? I only taught 3 days last week and I was whipped!! Saturday I was able to sleep in until about 7 or 8 and then got ready for the day. Not a ton went on Saturday, mainly because the power was out most of the morning/ afternoon, so we spent the day working on the farm. That morning we cut down part of a tree and dragged the branches to the back of the farm. After lunch I spent a couple hours pulling weeds in the Cocoa nursery and chasing sheep out. Y'all, I really have NO experience being a farm girl. Saturday night I went to the Colbaths (the people who own the farm and live right next to us) to watch a movie. It was nice to have some interaction with more North Americans and to just relax and watch a movie.
Sunday morning I headed back over to Colbaths for church. I decided that after spending almost 3 hours at one church service at Job and Adria's church, that was enough cultural experience for me and wanted to go to a service that I actually understood and and could learn from. So we had a breakfast of eggs, biscuits, and chocolate gravy, before streaming a church service from the states. It was such a good sermon over spiritual warfare. One I think all of us needed to hear. After "church" we laid around the house and played games, which was loads of fun! The Colbaths are such a sweet family and make the Honduran chocolate I have ever had! Seriously, I'm bringing like 5 lbs home with me. Later that afternoon we headed to one of the Pulperias. A Pulperia is a little store, which there are probably about 10 of in each neighborhood. They sell candy, chips, pop, snacks, fruits, and just random things one might need. After that we headed back to the Colbaths house and played more games until dinner was ready. We had Honduran Fajitas which consist of corn tortillas, beans, Honduran pico de gallo, avacado, mantequilla, and fried plantains. It's pretty good, but I can only eat so many plantains. Plantains and beans are what these people use for everything. After supper we sat and talked until Job and Adria came back and then I went and talked with them. Did I mention that it stormed almost all day and then continued to do so all night and into Monday as well. Sunday and Monday night were absolutely freezing! I had sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt on, plus like 5 or six heavy blankets and I still woke up shivering, but all in all it was a good weekend filled with rest.
Monday 1-9-17:
Today was my last day with my crazy 3rd and 4th graders and I have to admit, I was really bummed. Sure the drove me crazy and made me doubt my teaching ability, but I have so much love for these little boogers. It was a good day. No actually it was a very rough day, because they knew their teacher was coming back tomorrow. It was one of those days that made me really doubt if I was suppose to be here. One of those times where I questioned if I had heard God right and if I was really suppose to be in Honduras and if I really wanted to be a teacher. I heard a few of my students utter the words, "I hate you", as my whole world flipped upside down. They were mad because I took their recess away, even though I had warned them multiple times. I was done at that moment. I literally could not take anymore. The power had gone out too many times, I was so over geckos, and I had messed up a few too many lessons. I had failed and I was done. God gave me this amazing opportunity and I blew it. You see, I had this perfect thought in my head that I would come to Honduras and everything would be perfect and awesome and I would change the world or at least Singuatepeque. That hasn't been the case. Don't get me wrong, this trip has been wonderful and I have experienced so many great things and have met so many beautiful people, this it has been a struggle. Being in a country, where I am a foreigner and I don't speak the native language has been a huge challenge. Being in a country where the government and police are corrupt, crime is on every corner, and is considered to be one of the most dangerous countries on the earth, has been terrifying. Having to be alert every where I go and be prepared to have my possessions stolen of killed, has been so mind blowing, exhausting, and terrible. Going to school where not everyone speaks English has been so hard. Walking into someone elses classroom and being expected to teach their lesson you got the first day of class, and have the kids respect and accept you has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, especially when discipline is not something that is enforced in many Honduran homes, not for these kids anyway. These kids, unfortunately, so I have been told, probably won't continue after 7th grade, because education is not something that is valued here. All of this. This isn't how it was supposed to be, not the way I had planned it. The funny thing is, I didn't even really plan this trip. I heard about the opportunity, figured a few things out, got in contact with a school, and ordered my ticket. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I blindly agreed to this, but yet I had this fantasy of what I thought this trip would be like and in some ways it has been fulfilled, but in others it has been way more than I ever expected. Today I was done. I was ready to pack my bags, change my ticket and go home. As I was contemplating all these options, I looked up and saw the world I had been missing. I saw a mountain carved skyline, a blue sky, white clouds, trees oh so green, and a sun so bright it hurt my eyes, but I also saw children laughing and screaming and running, and behind that laughter I saw hurt and sadness and hunger. I saw broken roads and cracked buildings. I saw brokenness everywhere I looked. While I spent my time missing all the things many here could never even dream of having and while I complained about all the things that these people live with on a daily bases, for most if not all their lives, all of who I am crumbled down. That is why I am here. I am not here for me, therefore, I have no right to complain about the little insecurities I am feeling. I am here to show those little children the love of God, because only God knows the last time some of them felt love. I am here to follow what God told me, and what I believed He told me to do, and no one ever said that would be easy. I am here because this is where God sent me. This is where I am supposed to be. Right here- Honduras. Even when I feel like I have failed as a teacher, I am encouraged when one of the other teachers come over and tell me how well I am doing and how they are a hard bunch to handle. I am filled with joy when those same kids who said, "I hate you", come running in to my arms crying, "Miss. Rebekah! Please don't leave us!" I am filled with excitement when my 1st grader who can't read a single word comes running up to me and as he struggles through the sentence he is reading my heart is in the sky and I couldn't be more happy. I am filled with sadness when one of my students comes back with bruises and another complaining of hunger. I am hurt when a little girl who I loved on the very first day, barely even has a place to call home and spend her time away from school eating dirt or mud pies. This is why I am here. For God to tear down my pride and experience a part of the world and a part of life that I never have before. To put myself aside, forget everything I need or want and everything about me and be the hands and feet of God. To break me, to show me there is more than just Beatrice, Nebraska or Sioux Falls, South Dakota, or Carey, Mississippi. There is a whole world full of hurt and there is no way I can change that by myself. I couldn't even get on a plane by myself. Y'all, if I didn't have Jesus there is no way I would have even thought about coming on this trip and if I didn't have Him through out this entire journey, well, I probably wouldn't be typing this right now. God is so good. Even when He makes me feel like the worst human and breaks me down to dust, He is still so good.
That night I talked to one of my friends of messager, actually a few of them, and they all had things I needed to hear: "I am so proud of you for sticking through with it! Stay faithful through it ALL and your fields will be reaped for your service and dedication! Never forget that He is constantly completing the good work He started in you! I have faith in you, Bekah! So much faith", "I'm sure you're doing amazing Bek! I am so proud of you! You are gonna change those kids' lives whether you realize it or not, even if you think you failed. You are perfect for this". I must say, I have some pretty great friends and I love them a whole lot! I suppose my mom has been pretty great through this whole journey as well. I can explain some of my frustrations with out spoiling all the surprises. It's kinda nice to have a message from her every night, even if she still does not understand the fact that I don't always have wifi or that I'm too busy to respond.
Tuesday 1-10-17:
Today was my first day with 1st and 2nd grade, and holy moly are they a handful! They have about 20x's the amount of energy my 3rd and 4th graders had, and that is saying a lot! They are just so darn cute though! It is so hard to discipline them, because their eyes and sweet little faces just melt my heart! They don't speak very much English, but oh boy are they just a delight!
Wednesday 1-11-17:
Today was one of those days that if you were a teacher you would be ready to retire and if you were a teacher in training, like me, you'd want to seriously rethink your career. I have never, I repeat, NEVER seen a class act so terrible as my 1st grade class did today. They were out of control and NOTHING would calm them down. Not even one of the directors coming in and yelling angry Spanish to them worked, and apparently neither did taking away their recess for the rest of the week. They were so incredibly naughty, I can not even begin to describe. Kids were screaming, running everywhere, rolling on the floor, and throwing things. It was utter chaos. It was like their parents gave them coffee and pixty stix and told them to ignore all teachers today. It was awful, but we survived and even after all that I still want to be a teacher. What is wrong with me? I took this as a learning experience. I'd rather it happen now, while I am learning to be a teacher, than when I'm graduated and have no clue what to do. One bad class or a couple, does not equal a bad day. 2nd grade was great(minus some drama with a few girls, but you're always gonna have that). They are much more independent than the 1st graders and value their recess so much more. So all in all a bad start to the day, did not equal an awful day.
Thursday 1-12-16:
Thursday was a semi rough day. 1st grade was NOT happy about not having recess the rest of the week and did not like having to stay in a study for exams, which start on Monday. They all threw on their puppy dog faces and acted so wounded, but I had to look away and stand firm in my decision, which was so hard when they coming running up to you giving you giant hug and crying, "We're so sorry Miss. Rebekah", gahhhhhh those little boogers know what strings to pull. They did do a much better job listening and paying attention. 2nd grade was great as usual and when my time with them was done, I got to help in P.E. which was I blast. I never realized how much I missed freeze tag!
After school, I rode the bus to my village and walked most of the way home with a teacher and then a couple blocks by myself until I was back at the farm. I showered and then hung out with the Colbath kids, until Job and Adria got back. I went to talk with them because there was some issues with immigration and me leaving the country. Before I came I had to get a document signed and notarized saying that my mother gave me permission to leave the U.S. and gives me permission to leave Honduras. I had that paper, but apparently that wasn't enough. I would need a whole bunch of other things, before they let me leave, or so I thought. Turns out I don't need anything but my passport, because I have not applied for residency and because I have a U.S. passport. Yeah, in Honduras, the laws aren't very clear and can change with out you knowing. Things happen at the last minute all the time.
Later in the evening we went to Colbaths for supper with a couple that Job, Adria, and the Colbaths knew. It was a good time with yummy Honduran tacos (Not the same as Mexican Tacos).
Tomorrow we're headed to some Mayan caves, staying the night at a retreat, and then Saturday we're going to Pulahpanzak! It's going to be a very eventful weekend, but I am so stoked to see other parts of Honduras!
Prayer Requests:
That night I talked to one of my friends of messager, actually a few of them, and they all had things I needed to hear: "I am so proud of you for sticking through with it! Stay faithful through it ALL and your fields will be reaped for your service and dedication! Never forget that He is constantly completing the good work He started in you! I have faith in you, Bekah! So much faith", "I'm sure you're doing amazing Bek! I am so proud of you! You are gonna change those kids' lives whether you realize it or not, even if you think you failed. You are perfect for this". I must say, I have some pretty great friends and I love them a whole lot! I suppose my mom has been pretty great through this whole journey as well. I can explain some of my frustrations with out spoiling all the surprises. It's kinda nice to have a message from her every night, even if she still does not understand the fact that I don't always have wifi or that I'm too busy to respond.
Tuesday 1-10-17:
Today was my first day with 1st and 2nd grade, and holy moly are they a handful! They have about 20x's the amount of energy my 3rd and 4th graders had, and that is saying a lot! They are just so darn cute though! It is so hard to discipline them, because their eyes and sweet little faces just melt my heart! They don't speak very much English, but oh boy are they just a delight!
Wednesday 1-11-17:
Today was one of those days that if you were a teacher you would be ready to retire and if you were a teacher in training, like me, you'd want to seriously rethink your career. I have never, I repeat, NEVER seen a class act so terrible as my 1st grade class did today. They were out of control and NOTHING would calm them down. Not even one of the directors coming in and yelling angry Spanish to them worked, and apparently neither did taking away their recess for the rest of the week. They were so incredibly naughty, I can not even begin to describe. Kids were screaming, running everywhere, rolling on the floor, and throwing things. It was utter chaos. It was like their parents gave them coffee and pixty stix and told them to ignore all teachers today. It was awful, but we survived and even after all that I still want to be a teacher. What is wrong with me? I took this as a learning experience. I'd rather it happen now, while I am learning to be a teacher, than when I'm graduated and have no clue what to do. One bad class or a couple, does not equal a bad day. 2nd grade was great(minus some drama with a few girls, but you're always gonna have that). They are much more independent than the 1st graders and value their recess so much more. So all in all a bad start to the day, did not equal an awful day.
Thursday 1-12-16:
Thursday was a semi rough day. 1st grade was NOT happy about not having recess the rest of the week and did not like having to stay in a study for exams, which start on Monday. They all threw on their puppy dog faces and acted so wounded, but I had to look away and stand firm in my decision, which was so hard when they coming running up to you giving you giant hug and crying, "We're so sorry Miss. Rebekah", gahhhhhh those little boogers know what strings to pull. They did do a much better job listening and paying attention. 2nd grade was great as usual and when my time with them was done, I got to help in P.E. which was I blast. I never realized how much I missed freeze tag!
After school, I rode the bus to my village and walked most of the way home with a teacher and then a couple blocks by myself until I was back at the farm. I showered and then hung out with the Colbath kids, until Job and Adria got back. I went to talk with them because there was some issues with immigration and me leaving the country. Before I came I had to get a document signed and notarized saying that my mother gave me permission to leave the U.S. and gives me permission to leave Honduras. I had that paper, but apparently that wasn't enough. I would need a whole bunch of other things, before they let me leave, or so I thought. Turns out I don't need anything but my passport, because I have not applied for residency and because I have a U.S. passport. Yeah, in Honduras, the laws aren't very clear and can change with out you knowing. Things happen at the last minute all the time.
Later in the evening we went to Colbaths for supper with a couple that Job, Adria, and the Colbaths knew. It was a good time with yummy Honduran tacos (Not the same as Mexican Tacos).
Tomorrow we're headed to some Mayan caves, staying the night at a retreat, and then Saturday we're going to Pulahpanzak! It's going to be a very eventful weekend, but I am so stoked to see other parts of Honduras!
Prayer Requests:
- Safety
- Making the most of of what is left of my trip
- Showing the kids the love of God
- Making it through the airport, customs, and immigration safely and smoothly, with no issues
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