Hallelujah, We Are Free to Struggle- Honduras

I have been in the United States for nearly three weeks. You would think that would be more than enough time to readjust to life here, right? I have found it quite hard actually. I was home for just a week before I was thrown back into the craziness of school and college life. It's been a wild couple of months. So for this blog I am here to tell you that I am struggling and working on understanding that it is ok to not be okay. I am trying to be okay with the fact that I can not always be a ball of sunshine and that all the pain I have been feeling is normal. I had a debrief with one of my amazing Theology/Biblical Studies professor and he kept reminding me that I can not condemn those around me for not having the same mind set as me. "They have not seen what you have seen, nor have they felt what you have felt and are feeling. God has not opened their eyes like He has yours." It's hard for me to remember that. It was hard coming back and people wanting to hear every detail, but there are just some that are too painful to share. It was and is hard when people expect me to be the same person I was before I left and I am not. God broke me and made me new. He has changed my heart and eyes to see the world the way He does. So for this blog I am telling you and reminding myself that it is okay to not be okay, even when you think you need to be unbreakable. I am writing this blog today to be completely honest with all of those who have followed my journey, because mission trips are more than pictures and sweet stories. What people don't tell is that the recovery is brutal.
I find myself doing things that were common in Honduras. I find myself wide awake at 6 a.m. waiting for geckos to croak and birds to come flying in my room. I find my self jumping almost every time someone comes up behind me or touches me. I can not look anyone in the eye for very long and walking anywhere requires me to zone everyone out and stay focused on my surroundings and where I am headed. My time in Honduras opened my eyes. I left my door unlocked one night and almost had a panic attack, forgetting that before I left, I always left my door unlocked and I could leave my computer on a table at Scooters with out a second thought, but now I question everything.

Here is what a typical outing in town would be like: My phone would be between my hip and waistband, my money in my bra, and not making eye contact with anyone. I rarely took a purse, because it would get stolen, there was no 'if'' it would, it was 'when' it would happen. My debit card, I.D., passport, Social Security card, and any other cards or important papers I normally carried while traveling, were left in a bag under my bed. Adria would usually carry a purse with her things and a roll of toilet paper, because if you were lucky enough to find a bathroom, there was a really good chance there would not be toilet paper or running water or a toilet seat, or even a toilet. Walking down the street you could greet people, but most would just stare at you in disgust, because you are North American, except for guys. I was an especially great target for guys, because I have blonde hair, blue eyes, light skin, and hips. Nothing else about me mattered, not the rest of my looks, personality, or anything, as long as I had those 4 features, I was perfect for them and they made sure I knew. Job and Adria always stressed to just keep walking and try to ignore it. Cat calling in town was a huge deal. I could not go anywhere with out getting a head to toe look at or a "Hey baby" and any other minuscule English terms they knew that they would use to try to impress me. Life in Honduras was a simple kind of complex. While I constantly worried about whether I would return home each day and kept myself at a distance from certain parts of the culture, there was a simplicity of life down there that I miss deeply. The love most families showed, was one I had never seen from a family in the States before. I can't quite explain it, but it was genuine and it was what held them together. Most had only what they needed and that was enough. The cherished what they had. Even though there was crime on every corner, families lived happily and in harmony. The ones who knew the value of life lived well and wisely, those who did not value life, terrorized the city with corruption and greed and wickedness.
As I sit in my dorm as I write this, I am struggling. Struggling to adjust, struggling to find motivation to do my homework, struggling to not break down every time a memory floats into my head, struggling to remember that there are no geckos or birds in the ceiling, struggling to feel safe wherever I go. I am struggling. I see a picture the kids drew me or a picture I took and them and just cry, because it is not fair that I got to leave and they had to stay and there was nothing I could do about it. It's not fair that I have all the water to drink and waste and they barely have enough to survive. It's not fair that I have a buffet at my school and they eat dirt. It's not fair and I'm struggling with knowing that I can not change it by myself and that I can not do more. I have a hard time not looking at North Americans and even my peers in disgust of how greedy and wasteful they are and how much they complain over things my kids would never ever dream of being able to complain about. I have to stay quiet when I walk into the bathroom and see the sinks overflowing with wasted water and all I can think about is how many of my kids, the only place they got a sufficient amount of clean drinking water, was at school. God has opened my eyes, but unfortunately, not everyone has the same eyes as me. Apart of me has this conflict. Part of me wants to stay in school, get my degree, pay off my loans, and make memories with my friends, but another part wants to drop everything and leave to Honduras and teach. I am not sure what God's plan for me is yet, but I know it does involve me going back to Honduras. Soon. Next summer to be exact. Not only am I struggling to adjust to life while I am awake, but even while I am asleep. I have not settled in to a normal sleep pattern and often wake up a minimum of 3 times each night terrified over some dream I just had. It is rough. I'm not going to sugar coat it, these last two month I have had some of the greatest experiences of my life while walking through hell. Aside from adjusting to life while in Honduras I dealt with being away from family when I really should have been there. They day before I left for Honduras my grandma was admitted to the hospital for heart issues. I knew getting on the plane was going to be hard, but that made it almost impossible. She had surgery while I was in Honduras. My first week there I got super sick and ended up being allergic to my Malaria pill. I also later found out after being home for a week that I got walking pneumonia while there. The next week one of my favorite and dearest Sunday school teachers passed away after a hard fight with cancer and I missed the funeral. The next week my mom was in the hospital for potential heart issues and I had lost wifi that entire weekend. I dealt with being away and having to put every single bit of trust in God, because while all of this was happening, I still had kids to teach and people to love on. This entire journey has been about me learning how to let God lead and trusting in Him to provide, plan, keep me safe, and speak through me. A week after being back at school I receive  a text saying my grandma was being taken to the hospital by ambulance to have a pace maker put in and even though I was back in the same country, I still felt so far away and so helpless. A couple days after my grandmas surgery my aunt had a stroke in the middle of the night and had immediate surgery. Like I said while Honduras was an amazing experience, walking through this journey and  readjusting has been walking though hell at times.
There was a song that I had running through my head while I was in Honduras, that made me keep my eyes on God. It's called "Thy Will", by Hilary Scott. Here are a few verses.
"I'm so confused. I know I heard you loud and clear. So I followed through, somehow I ended up here. I don't wanna think, I may never understand, that my broken heart is apart of your plan. When I tried to pray all I got was hurt and these four words: Thy Will Be Done.... I know your good, but this don't feel good right now And I know you think of things I could never think about. It's hard to count it all joy, distracted by the noise, just trying to make sense off all your promises. Sometimes I gotta stop, remember that you're God, and I am not...." Look up the rest of the song, It's a really good one I promise! That song spoke to me every day, even though I had no way to listen to it, it helped guide me through my journey, and I think it will continue to.
I know that adjusting to life in the United States will continue to be a struggle, but it's kind of like how we as Christians are. We try to adjust to the world, yet this is not our home. We don't belong here. We are constantly feeling out of place and "Homesick", because our home is with our Father in heaven. We are just passing through. I know that God has placed it on my heart to continue to do missions work and I am excited to see where He takes me, but for now I am reminded of another song, this one by Tenth Avenue North, called, "Hallelujah We are Free to Struggle". Which goes like this: "There's a wreckage, there's a fire, There's a weakness in my love, There's a hunger I can't control. Lord, I falter and I fall down, Then I hold on to chains You broke, When You came and saved my soul. Save my soul. Hallelujah We are free to struggle. We're not struggling to be free. Your blood bought and makes us children. Children, drop your chains and sing.
Because of God's love and because of the cross I am free to struggle. It is okay for me to not be okay, but it is not okay for me to stay and sit in the sorrow and pain I am feeling, but it is okay to take those feelings and make a difference. God is still good, He is still faithful, and He still has a perfect plan. 

God is Good. Always. -Honduras

Friday 1/13/17:

They day started with grading workbook for 2nd grade and then I headed out side to help with 1st grade P.E. Seriously, SO MUCH FUN. I loved getting to run around the soccer field and play a bunch of random kid games with a bunch of rambunctious 1st graders who all loved me again. After P.E. we headed back in for snack. As the helper was passing out snack, I for some reason picked up my phone. Something I don't usually do until recess or lunch or if I have to translate something, but I checked my phone and it was blown up with facebook messages from my siblings discussing that my mom was on her way to the hospital. Everything around me stopped. I'm pretty sure I wasn't even breathing for a solid minute as I dropped to the ground and stared at my phone and every part of me was shaking. "This isn't happening right now. No, I just talked to her an hour ago. I have to change my flight." So much happened in a span of 2 hours. I was in Honduras and everyone else was with or close to where she was. I had no way to get there and no way to contact her. My only connection of what was going on was Facebook messenger and the school wifi is absolutely terrible. Mr. Scott (the teacher I covered for) took my classes for the rest of the day ( I only had a few left) and I literally slept in the teachers lounge, hoping I'd wake up and none of this would have happened, but every time I awoke, it was more real than ever. I hated not knowing and not having contact and not being there. 

At around 2 Job and Adria picked me up and we headed to the Mayan caves, which was awesome, but I had no wifi that entire not, and of course assumed the worst. The caves we went to were discovered around 70 years ago when they built the high way. They found these caves, where the Mayans used to live, along with many artifacts that told stories into the past. The tour we took was about 300 meters long and we saw so many mysteries. We saw callocized rock, stalagmites, stalactites, caves inside of caves, fallen rock, inscriptions, and a place a family once called home. It was pretty sick, I'm not gonna lie. After we got all sweaty and dirty, we headed to dinner by a gorgeous lake with mountains in the background and then drove to the hotel we would be staying at. This hotel was so great, it even had air conditioning, oh and a friendly cat too! We arrived around 8 and decided we needed a snack, so we headed to a Saritas, which is like the best Honduran ice cream. After we finished our ice cream, we headed back to the retreat center to head to bed, since tomorrow would be a very busy day! It was nice to sleep with out geckos croaking!

Saturday 1/14/17:

We woke up and were ready to eat at around 8:30ish. As we waited for our food at the retreat to come, we explored the property a bit. There were over 20 different tree/ plants that produced a different fruit or vegetable, plus many other exotic plants, that were just pretty. There were 3 natural pools and a river/ spring. Along with all of that scenery, there were tons of vines to swing from!

After we ate, we headed to Pulahpanzak, where the day was filled with adventure and breaking my comfort zone. I did a very long zig zag zipline that went over the waterfall multiple time, which took my breath away. Let's just say, we have codes on zip lines for a reason. It was really fun and I was so high in the air that it really felt like I was flying, but they would put a few too many people on one platform before starting the next section. For reals though, when I went over the waterfall, I wanted everything to stop and I just wanted to stay in that moment and soak it all up, but sadly it ended and when I reached the last platform, I was greeted by a worker and a wild iguana(I think). I also did a tour that went down to the bottom of the falls and behind it. So in my head, when I agreed to this tour, I thought it would be this nice little path that you walked and the somehow ended up under the fall, yeah no, I couldn't be more wrong. It was filled with stomping through mud while getting sprayed, climbing down slippery rocks, with no rope or assurance of where you're going, swimming across part of the river, climbing up rocks, and going under falling water, for who knows how long, all while getting blasted with water and not being able to breathe. Oh yeah it was definitely and adventure, but I am glad I did it, because the view was breath taking, literally. After almost drowning( Not really but it felt like it) we laid in the sun for about an hour, before heading out. Anyone who thinks I'm coming back tan, I hate to break it to ya, but I'm not.. I do have a tan, but it just looks like a normal skin color, because I am forever pasty white. Also it's been a tad chilly here, so I haven't exactly been wearing tank tops and short sleeves.

After about an hour of soaking up the rays we went and looked at the waterfall some more. Y'all it is so gorgeous. God has some beautiful creation out there. Side note: Long ago Walt Disney took a tour through Honduras, and Pulahpanzak is where he got his inspiration for the Jungle Book illustration. If you ever get the chance to experience Pulahpanzak, do it, It is stunning!

When we finished, we went to a restaurant, which turned out to be not so great, so once we were on the road we stopped at another store for ice cream and then headed home.

Sunday 1/15/17:

The Colbaths had to take  two of their kids to the airport. They were returning to Texas for school, which meant I had to go to Spanish church. It was only 2 hours this time, but when you don't understand anything, that's a long time. After church we went to El Chefcito for lunch, which is probably one of my favorite restaurants and then went to the market to get a few groceries. Once finished we headed over to Job's parents house to relax, talk, and have some delicious papaya smoothies! We were there until about 6 and then headed home to get things done before Monday. Monday was the start of exam week which I knew would be crazy!

Failing is Sometimes Succeeding- Honduras

Saturday 1-7-17/ Sunday 1-8-17

Can I just say that I am so thankful for weekends? I only taught 3 days last week and I was whipped!! Saturday I was able to sleep in until about 7 or 8 and then got ready for the day. Not a ton went on Saturday, mainly because the power was out most of the morning/ afternoon, so we spent the day working on the farm. That morning we cut down part of a tree and dragged the branches to the back of the farm. After lunch I spent a couple hours pulling weeds in the Cocoa nursery and chasing sheep out. Y'all, I really have NO experience being a farm girl. Saturday night I went to the Colbaths (the people who own the farm and live right next to us) to watch a movie. It was nice to have some interaction with more North Americans and to just relax and watch a movie. 

Sunday morning I headed back over to Colbaths for church. I decided that after spending almost 3 hours at one church service at Job and Adria's church, that was enough cultural experience for me and wanted to go to a service that I actually understood and and could learn from. So we had a breakfast of eggs, biscuits, and chocolate gravy, before streaming a church service from the states. It was such a good sermon over spiritual warfare. One I think all of us needed to hear. After "church" we laid around the house and played games, which was loads of fun! The Colbaths are such a sweet family and make the Honduran chocolate I have ever had! Seriously, I'm bringing like 5 lbs home with me. Later that afternoon we headed to one of the Pulperias. A Pulperia is a little store, which there are probably about 10 of in each neighborhood. They sell candy, chips, pop, snacks, fruits, and just random things one might need. After that we headed back to the Colbaths house and played more games until dinner was ready. We had Honduran Fajitas which consist of corn tortillas, beans, Honduran pico de gallo, avacado, mantequilla, and fried plantains. It's pretty good, but I can only eat so many plantains. Plantains and beans are what these people use for everything. After supper we sat and talked until Job and Adria came back and then I went and talked with them. Did I mention that it stormed almost all day and then continued to do so all night and into Monday as well. Sunday and Monday night were absolutely freezing! I had sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt on, plus like 5 or six heavy blankets and I still woke up shivering, but all in all it was a good weekend filled with rest. 

Monday 1-9-17:

Today was my last day with my crazy 3rd and 4th graders and I have to admit, I was really bummed. Sure the drove me crazy and made me doubt my teaching ability, but I have so much love for these little boogers. It was a good day. No actually it was a very rough day, because they knew their teacher was coming back tomorrow. It was one of those days that made me really doubt if I was suppose to be here. One of those times where I questioned  if I had heard God right and if I was really suppose to be in Honduras and if I really wanted to be a teacher. I heard a few of my students utter the words, "I hate you", as my whole world flipped upside down. They were mad because I took their recess away, even though I had warned them multiple times. I was done at that moment. I literally could not take anymore. The power had gone out too many times, I was so over geckos, and I had messed up a few too many lessons. I had failed and I was done. God gave me this amazing opportunity and I blew it. You see, I had this perfect thought in my head that I would come to Honduras and everything would be perfect and awesome and I would change the world or at least Singuatepeque. That hasn't been the case. Don't get me wrong, this trip has been wonderful and I have experienced so many great things and have met so many beautiful people, this it has been a struggle. Being in a country, where I am a foreigner and I don't speak the native language has been a huge challenge. Being in a country where the government and police are corrupt, crime is on every corner, and is considered to be one of the most dangerous countries on the earth, has been terrifying. Having to be alert every where I go and be prepared to have my possessions stolen of killed, has been so mind blowing, exhausting, and terrible. Going to school where not everyone speaks English has been so hard. Walking into someone elses classroom and being expected to teach their lesson you got the first day of class, and have the kids respect and accept you has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, especially when discipline is not something that is enforced in many Honduran homes, not for these kids anyway. These kids, unfortunately, so I have been told, probably won't continue after 7th grade, because education is not something that is valued here. All of this. This isn't how it was supposed to be, not the way I had planned it. The funny thing is, I didn't even really plan this trip. I heard about the opportunity, figured a few things out, got in contact with a school, and ordered my ticket. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I blindly agreed to this, but yet I had this fantasy of what I thought this trip would be like and in some ways it has been fulfilled, but in others it has been way more than I ever expected. Today I was done. I was ready to pack my bags, change my ticket and go home. As I was contemplating all these options, I looked up and saw the world I had been missing. I saw a mountain carved skyline, a blue sky, white clouds, trees oh so green, and a sun so bright it hurt my eyes, but I also saw children laughing and screaming and running, and behind that laughter I saw hurt and sadness and hunger. I saw broken roads and cracked buildings. I saw brokenness everywhere I looked. While I spent my time missing all the things many here could never even dream of having and while I complained about all the things that these people live with on a daily bases, for most if not all their lives, all of who I am crumbled down. That is why I am here. I am not here for me, therefore, I have no right to complain about the little insecurities I am feeling. I am here to show those little children the love of God, because only God knows the last time some of them felt love. I am here to follow what God told me, and what I believed He told me to do, and no one ever said that would be easy. I am here because this is where God sent me. This is where I am supposed to be. Right here- Honduras. Even when I feel like I have failed as a teacher, I am encouraged when one of the other teachers come over and tell me how well I am doing and how they are a hard bunch to handle. I am filled with joy when those same kids who said, "I hate you", come running in to my arms crying, "Miss. Rebekah! Please don't leave us!" I am filled with excitement when my 1st grader who can't read a single word comes running up to me and as he struggles through the sentence he is reading my heart is in the sky and I couldn't be more happy. I am filled with sadness when one of my students comes back with bruises and another complaining of hunger. I am hurt when a little girl who I loved on the very first day, barely even has a place to call home and spend her time away from school eating dirt or mud pies. This is why I am here. For God to tear down my pride and experience a part of the world and a part of life that I never have before. To put myself aside, forget everything I need or want and everything about me and be the hands and feet of God. To break me, to show me there is more than just Beatrice, Nebraska or Sioux Falls, South Dakota, or Carey, Mississippi. There is a whole world full of hurt and there is no way I can change that by myself. I couldn't even get on a plane by myself. Y'all, if I didn't have Jesus there is no way I would have even thought about coming on this trip and if I didn't have Him through out this entire journey, well, I probably wouldn't be typing this right now. God is so good. Even when He makes me feel like the worst human and breaks me down to dust, He is still so good.
That night I talked to one of my friends of messager, actually a few of them, and they all had things I needed to hear: "I am so proud of you for sticking through with it! Stay faithful through it ALL and your fields will be reaped for your service and dedication! Never forget that He is constantly completing the good work He started in you! I have faith in you, Bekah! So much faith", "I'm sure you're doing amazing Bek! I am so proud of you! You are gonna change those kids' lives whether you realize it or not, even if you think you failed. You are perfect for this". I must say, I have some pretty great friends and I love them a whole lot! I suppose my mom has been pretty great through this whole journey as well. I can explain some of my frustrations with out spoiling all the surprises. It's kinda nice to have a message from her every night, even if she still does not understand the fact that I don't always have wifi or that I'm too busy to respond.

Tuesday 1-10-17:

Today was my first day with 1st and 2nd grade, and holy moly are they a handful! They have about 20x's the amount of energy my 3rd and 4th graders had, and that is saying a lot! They are just so darn cute though! It is so hard to discipline them, because their eyes and sweet little faces just melt my heart! They don't speak very much English, but oh boy are they just a delight!

Wednesday 1-11-17:

Today was one of those days that if you were a teacher you would be ready to retire and if you were a teacher in training, like me, you'd want to seriously rethink your career. I have never, I repeat, NEVER seen a class act so terrible as my 1st grade class did today. They were out of control and NOTHING would calm them down. Not even one of the directors coming in and yelling angry Spanish to them worked, and apparently neither did taking away their recess for the rest of the week. They were so incredibly naughty, I can not even begin to describe. Kids were screaming, running everywhere, rolling on the floor, and throwing things. It was utter chaos. It was like their parents gave them coffee and pixty stix and told them to ignore all teachers today. It was awful, but we survived and even after all that I still want to be a teacher. What is wrong with me? I took this as a learning experience. I'd rather it happen now, while I am learning to be a teacher, than when I'm graduated and have no clue what to do. One bad class or a couple, does not equal a bad day. 2nd grade was great(minus some drama with a few girls, but you're always gonna have that). They are much more independent than the 1st graders and value their recess so much more. So all in all a bad start to the day, did not equal an awful day.

Thursday 1-12-16:

Thursday was a semi rough day. 1st grade was NOT happy about not having recess the rest of the week and did not like having to stay in a study for exams, which start on Monday. They all threw on their puppy dog faces and acted so wounded, but I had to look away and stand firm in my decision, which was so hard when they coming running up to you giving you giant hug and crying, "We're so sorry Miss. Rebekah", gahhhhhh those little boogers know what strings to pull. They did do a much better job listening and paying attention. 2nd grade was great as usual and when my time with them was done, I got to help in P.E. which was I blast. I never realized how much I missed freeze tag!
After school, I rode the bus to my village and walked most of the way home with a teacher and then a couple blocks by myself until I was back at the farm. I showered and then hung out with the Colbath kids, until Job and Adria got back. I went to talk with them because there was some issues with immigration and me leaving the country. Before I came I had to get a document signed and notarized saying that my mother gave me permission to leave the U.S. and gives me permission to leave Honduras. I had that paper, but apparently that wasn't enough. I would need a whole bunch of other things, before they let me leave, or so I thought. Turns out I don't need anything but my passport, because I have not applied for residency and because I have a U.S. passport. Yeah, in Honduras, the laws aren't very clear and can change with out you knowing. Things happen at the last minute all the time.
Later in the evening we went to Colbaths for supper with a couple that Job, Adria, and the Colbaths knew. It was a good time with yummy Honduran tacos (Not the same as Mexican Tacos).
Tomorrow we're headed to some Mayan caves, staying the night at a retreat, and then Saturday we're going to Pulahpanzak! It's going to be a very eventful weekend, but I am so stoked to see other parts of Honduras!

Prayer Requests:

• Safety
• Making the most of of what is left of my trip
• Showing the kids the love of God
• Making it through the airport, customs, and immigration safely and smoothly, with no issues

A Heart Full of Laughter- My Journey in Honduras

Thursday 1-5-17

Today was my second day teaching my little stinkers! Honestly, I was super stoked to head to school this morning! I arrived and organized my papers and materials to find a note to, "Miss. Rebekah", that said, "Te amo Miss. Rebekah", Which is I love you in Spanish and next to it was a small pile of Honduran candy. After seeing that I knew it was going to be a great day, even if what followed that moment was not so great. My 3rd graders arrived sassy and spunky, but ready to ask me loads of questions (apparently I am really interesting). We spent probably a little longer than we should have talking about the me, the States, and them, but it was a good time. After all the excitement, I started the English lesson, only to get most of the way through and realize that I taught it completely wrong. Opps.. Well, I quickly erased my board and told them to forget everything I just told them and then squeezed what should have been a 45 minute lesson into about 15 minutes... Good one Rebekah. 3rd grade was a little wild today and weren't exactly the best listeners. It is amazing though how quickly and kid will behave once you threaten to take their recess away. The rest of the day went fairly smooth. My 4th graders are a hoot! They are so much fun, but oh man are they sassy and do they like to press my buttons. I wouldn't trade them for the best class in the world though. We have lots of fun, but they have a hard time knowing when it is time to stop and be serious. 

For lunch the school served bean soup. Yeah, my stomach was not gonna have that so I passed and sat with the kids while they ate when one of the head teacher brought me a bowl of rice and tortillas. That was something I could eat all day (well maybe not, but I could still enjoy it). My afternoon after lunch was packed with activities with my 4th graders and it was a blast, but a bit of a challenge. Like I said, they really like to test me, but that's okay because I test them too. 

After school I rode the bus back to the village and walked the rest of the way with another teacher. That night was a pretty laid back night and praise the Lord the internet was working! I went to bed late, but actually got a decent night of sleep, not like I would if I was home, but it was definitely better!

Friday 1-6-17

Happy Friday and third day of teaching!! Today I woke up exhausted, but still ready to go see the little boogers. Third grade was loads of fun and we were very productive. They all finished their worksheets, so most of them had no homework, which meant I had homework. Lots of papers to get graded, which I honestly don't mind, because it can be pretty comedic! I crack up at some of the answers they write down! Third grade was overall very good today, even if I did drag a little bit. The 4th graders on the other hand, some of them lost a part of their recess. They were so crazy today. Part of it was probably due to the fact that the power went out during lunch and so that messed up plans a bit. They were suppose to go to library after lunch, but that didn't happen because you could not see in the library, so I had 45 minutes of nothing that I was suppose to come up with something to do and on top of that they finished the plans for spelling in less than 20 minutes so I had over an hour of time to kill with kiddos who were ready to be out for the weekend, so I had them read for 20 minutes, color or draw for 20 minutes, clean up everything for 10 minutes, and the rest of the time I let them go out side a run around a bit. I have to admit, having a classroom filled with laughter is such a special thing. My heart grows every time I see any of these little ones smile and it leaps when I hear their laughter. It is like music to my ears. They make my heart so happy and I pray that I can show them just as much love as they show me. They are so precious.

After school I sat in the teachers lounge and waited for the next bus to go home. As I was scrolling through Facebook, I noticed that there had been another shooting, so I clicked on it to check it out and it turned out to be at the Fort Lauderdale Airport, where I had my longest layover just one week ago and where I will have an even longer one in two weeks. My heart started to pound a little faster. "This seriously just happened?! Are you kidding me? Why is this happening now?" I was in shock that this happened at someplace that I was very recently at, but I took that as a sign from God. I had thought about leaving after New Year's to come to Honduras, but it just didn't feel right so I came before and I thought about only staying a week or two, but seemed not okay and not what I was suppose to do. I very easily could have been in that airport when this shooting took place, but I wasn't. God has me in His hand, holding me tightly and safely. He knew this was going to happen and so He guided me so that I would be safe. He is keeping me safe everyday. There is so much that goes on in Singuatepeque, but He is with me always. There was a notice Job told us about this morning warning people to be cautious, especially North Americans, because there had been numerous robberies and people held at gun point. North American are more at risk, because to everyone down here, we are all so rich and have so much money that we won't miss anything and that there is nothing we can do about it. It's a very good thing we live in the country in a safer neighborhood, but it makes going to town frightening. North Americans also have to be very cautious of the men here, because they are very vocal and will try to impress you. I have blond hair and blue eye, so I am practically a goddess to them. If they like what they see they will let you know and pull out any trashy English they know to look good. Adria has taught me to ignore them and to not make eye contact with any of the men, so walk with your eyes on the ground. So please continue to pray for my safety. I am in good hands, but there are things they can't control, like an airport. 

Minus all the negative things about Honduras, I really do love those I meet. The beauty of meeting new people is that they all have a different story you know nothing about and the more time you spend time with them, the more you learn about them and uncover the jewel that they are. 

Tomorrow we are headed to town for a bit and then on Sunday church. I'm sure we'll fill in the rest of the time doing random things or resting. Again, please forgive if I do not have a post everyday. Life gets busy, wifi is sketch, and power is touch and go, but I will try my best!

**Prayer Requests**

Safety

Health(I am feeling better, but a nasty cold is going around)

Wisdom to continue to teach

That I will continue to learn many things and grow in many ways

Sleep- I still have not slept an entire night and it's catching up with me

Thank y'all!

Lots of Love,

Rebekah

Geckos, Mosquitoes, and La Providencia- My Journey in Honduras

Sunday 1-1-17/ Monday 1-2-17/ Tuesday 1-3-17

Sunday morning I got really sick, like worse than the stomach flu sick. I'm still not 100% sure what it was, but I spent most of the day laying in bed with a bucket. Monday morning was a little better, so I attempted to eat more food, only ti discover that I was definitely NOT better. I took another lazy day to rest and soak up some vitamins from the sun. I wasn't able to keep anything down until later Monday night and even then I was still very icky, but I was able to sleep without the bucket right next to me. Tuesday morning, I had so much more color back in me. I was still very pale, but it was so much better! My stomach was still very iffy, but way better than the past two day. We took the last day before classes started to have a day on the town and do more than run errands in the truck. Adria and I spent most of the morning running errands and then had the best nachos I have ever had at a little restaurant. Unfortunately I could eat very little of these delicious nachos. After lunch, Adria gave me the freedom to go wherever (with her of course), so we went to a few random stores in the market and throughout town to get souveniers and items. We also took time to get some ice cream! *Side note: Long ago, like 15 or more years ago, Mennonites came here as missionaries and have done very well. They have an orphanage, school, and a couple of stores where they sell: ice cream, peanut butter, different kinds of jelly, different kinds of bread, rolls, milk, and cheese. They have set up quite the name for themselves- which is awesome!* Anyway, back on track, after ice cream, we headed home to relax and have dinner before the first day of school on Wednesday. One thing that I am so thankful for about Job and Adria, besides all that they have already done for me, is that at the end of every day, before I leave for my apartment, we take the time to pray and thank God for all His goodness and for the safety He has granted me. I really could not have asked for a better host couple. They are amazing and go above and beyond to do what is best for me!

Wednesday 1-4-17

"HAPPY FIRST DAY OF TEACHING MISS. REBEKAH!"
I started the day at 5:30 this morning and left for school at 6:50. School starts at 7:30 every morning and its at 2:45 for students and 3:45 for teachers everyday. I arrived at La Providencia, which is located even deeper in the mountains, not sure what to expect. As we drove up I was amazed by all that I saw: the hospital, the clinic, houses, play grounds, and school. I knew this place was amazing, but I had no idea it would be this amazing! I headed into the office where I met a few people who are still learning English and was then escorted to what would be my classroom for the next week or so. This was the first time I was seeing the room, the kids, and the lesson plans, yet I was not super frazzled. God gave me the peace I needed and the wisdom I needed to start the day and teach 4 adequate lessons to crazy kiddos.
My day started with 13 wild 3rd graders by teaching English (nouns and pronouns), followed by reading( I read a book aloud and then they read to me, while I listened to make corrections). I ended my time with the 3rd graders by teaching Science. This lesson I winged a little more than the others, because the notes did not make it clear that there was a book assignment, but we made it through. I then dropped them off at library and had 45 minutes of free time to regroup. I spent half of my time at recess with sweet little kindergartners. Those little boogers love soccer!
After library, we had snack and headed out for recess, where I was stuck on duty. Once recess was over, I dismissed my 3rd graders to their next class and welcomed in my 4th graders. I had 18 ornery 4th graders in this class. This class I luckily had name tags for, so I started the class by handing those out and attempting to say their names as they laughed at me. Little stinkers. I only taught them Science that day, which we had only half the materials for, but made it work. We then headed to lunch (beans and tortillas) and once everyone was finished we went to the bathrooms where they brushed their teeth and I handed out floss and dismissed them to recess. that was it for me that day, which is my least busiest day for the remainder of my time there. I hung out in the teachers lounge, drank coffee, and met other teachers. I was also dragged to the clinic to get some medicine for my stomach and cream for my bug bites. (My legs are covered with bites and before anyone lectures me, yes I have been using bug spray). Job picked me up and we went even deeper into the mountains into a part of Puran I had not been to yet. I had a bit of anxiety on the way up, because some of the roads were definitely not roads and there were no guard rails between us and the very steep ledge. While there I met some more lovely people and hugged little runs that I met previously who ran up to me with excitement. Such sweet children with beautiful laughter. It's hard to see them in such poverty. We hiked to different parts on the mountain and once we reached the top I stood in awe of my creator. There I stood at the top of a mountain in the middle of Honduras. I am oh so very small. I blinked numerous times to make sure my eyes were seeing correctly and they were. a beautiful setting sun burst across the sky behind jagged mountains and pine trees. I stood in disbelief as soaked up every bit of that moment, enjoying the beauty my God has created.
We headed back home for dinner and went to bed early, because the power went out again, unfortunately, which left me grading papers by a flash light.
**Other Updates**

• Geckos are seriously the worst creature ever. I still have yet to sleep through the night, because of their need to croak so loudly. I also have dreams of them jumping at night, but hopefully my mosquito net will save me.
• The power has gone out 3 times since Sunday and it always happens at super inconvenient times. 
• I have some of the sweetest, but orneriest kids and I already love them so much!
• Always carry toilet paper, because chances are where ever you go, there won't be toilet paper, and probably not running water either. 
• I have finally had a warm shower and it was so good! Missing my hot showers and the water pressure. 
• Mosquitoes are just as bad as geckos, but what are even worse, are genes, which are evil Honduran bugs that are a mix between a mosquito and a fly (in my opinion) they are smaller than a mosquito, but hurt wayyyy more than a mosquito and the bites are brutal. My legs aren't looking too fine. 
• I'm not sure how many more times I can eat beans. The tortillas are fine, but ahh beans are not so great.
• People will kiss you on the cheek as a greeting and you just have to get used to it and accept it.
• WiFi is iffy, so forgive me for not having a post earlier. 
• My 3rd graders think I am old (22) *insert eye roll
• My Spanish is actually getting better and I can understand more.
• I'm starting to pick up a slight accent and my students think it is hilarious.

I hope life in the States is treating everyone well! Look for another post in the near future!

Much love,

Rebekah

Feliz Ano Nuevo! -My Journey In Honduras

Hola Friends!

Feliz Ano Nuevo or Happy New Year from Honduras! I hope the new year is filled with joy, peace, love, and laughter.
December 31- January 1st:
I was up at 6 a.m. this morning with a temperature of probably lower 40s upper 30s and cool mountain air to wake me up. I grabbed what I needed and headed to the shower, except when I turned it one, nothing. No water came out, so I went next door to where the bathroom was and tried to turn on the faucet and still nothing. "I knew I should have showered last night!" were my thoughts as I grabbed a jacket and shoes and headed from my apartment over to Job and Adria's house. I felt bad because it was 6 in the morning and I was asking about the water, but they are usually up at around 5 so it wasn't a huge problem. Job grabbed shoes and headed to check on the well. -Side note: (The place Adria and Job are living, the people who own the property dug a well so the water is safe to drink, there is a functioning(mostly) toilet, and a small shower(There is warm water for a bit, but if you aren't quick, you're showering in the cold, which is not pleasant in the morning when you are already freezing). After he turned the well on I scampered back to the shower to try again...No water, so I walked back down and he explained to me that the tank needed to refill before it would work. Yeah "city" girl does not know anything about living on a farm or how wells work. I felt so embarrassed, so I left and did my devos and organized my room a little more before I  went and the shower worked!! YAY! But the water was not warm... But I had running water and I was clean so there is no reason for me to complain. At around 8 I headed to the house for breakfast where we had cooked kidney beans with tortillas and sour cream. After breakfast Job and I headed to town to run a few errands. We stopped out his parents house for a few minutes to see how the tamale making was going and then headed to one of the farmer markets where we got Honduran popcorn balls and cabbage leaves for the cows and sheep. After we headed to the mechanic because Job's car has been having issues. Turns out it was going to take awhile so Job's father came and picked me up and we headed to his house where it was just a big party of cooking tamales and chicken and potatos. Here in Honduras, Christmas Eve and New Years Eve are HUGE! Stores are closed and everyone gets a new outfit and all jazzed out for these two days. Fireworks are going off everywhere! Fireworks that would be very much illegal in the U.S. Back on topic- I spent most of the afternoon Making tamales and getting to know Job's family. One of his relative was my age and knew a pretty good amount of English so we added each other on snap chat and talked about our favorite things and the differences between the U.S. and Honduras I talked to her in Spanish and she talked to me in English and we taught each other new words and laughed a lot while filling the banana leaves with tamale filling. It was just a great time of laughing, cooking and experiencing a true Honduran family tradition. Once Job arrived back from the mechanic, we headed back to the farm all took naps before the big party began. We left for church at around 5:30- Sidenote: (If a Honduran says they are going to leave at a certain time, add about 15 minutes to the time and you'll be on time). Church starts at 6 on NYE and then there is no church on Sunday so everyone can sleep in after the big party. This was a completely Spanish speaking church. No English and it lasted 2 and 1/2 hours... That's a long time for any church service, especially if you have no idea what is going on. after church I met some girls from the church that were my age and spoke English very well. we talked and laughed and had a good ol' time! I am starting to adjust to the culture and how everyone greets each other. The common greeting is a good hug and a kiss on the cheek. Once we were finished at church we headed to Job's parents house to spend the rest of the evening, where I had the most American meal I have had since I've been here. We ate ham and potatoes, barbecue chicken, and a great Honduran rice. Job's mom is an amazing cook!! She also made me a quesadilla earlier in the day for lunch, and I am not kidding it was probably the best dang quesadilla I have ever eaten! We finished eating and then sat and talked with more of his family. After a bit we walked a few blocks to  fireworks stand and then ran back to the house to light them off. they are loud and bright! It's crazy how wild it gets! Many Hondurans also make a scare crow type thing that looks like an old man and at midnight they set it on fire to represent getting rid of the old year. The excitement wore of a little and we headed back to the farm to get some sleep, which I actually got more than 2 or 3 hours of sleep last night.
This morning I woke up around 9 and hoped in the cold shower and prepared for the day. Once I was ready I sat to do my devos and started to feel sick. I ran to the bathroom and threw up all of the water I had drank that morning. I brushed my teeth again and walked to the house to get some salada's(crackers) and sprite. It is 12:30 as I am writing this and I still have yet to touch either one. I feel a ton better, but letting my stomach calm down before I take in anything. We still are not sure if it is the stomach flu or if it is from all the changes I'm experiencing and all the different and strange foods I have been eating. Prayers that I am better for tomorrow would be greatly appreciated, as we are going back to Puran to see the gardens and meet more people. School starts on Wednesday, so prayers for that would also be appreciated. I still have no received the lesson plans, so hopefully it will not be terribly difficult of hard to follow/teach. I am starting to feel more adjusted, my Spanish is kicking in a little more, and I am not as clueless, which is a nice feeling. I can't wait to see what God continues to do through this!

Love,

Rebekah

Wow, Culture Shock!- My Journey in Honduras

December 30, 2016
Today was so many things. I just can not put into words what today was like. I have no words. My heart broke. It is continuing to break. God is breaking my heart. Everywhere I look I see a beautiful mountain, Plant, or sky filled with color and then I look down. I see trash everywhere. I see children crying and children with out shoes. I see people with torn and tattered clothing, houses that are falling apart. Places that people live that are far from livable by any standard, yet they live there. Children who wander the streets with out parents in sight. Streets that are dirty and not drivable. Paths that were once nive with stairs are now cracked and delopodated. People who need help, but refuse it. I met a lady today who has 16 children. 16. She is 50 and has 16 children and 7 grandchildren and they all live in the same small sod house with a broken up tin roof. That's 23 people in a house made for probably 5, at the absolute max, yet she refuses help.
It's hard to go anywhere with out seeing a stray dog. They are everywhere. Many families have 3-5 dogs, even if they can not provide for them, they keep them for security. Any that are found roaming around are so skinny you can tell they have not eaten an adequate meal in who knows how long. Job has warned me to stay away, becuase they will bite. Not all of them, but better safe than sorry. I want to pick them up and snuggle them, but here, dogs are not pets.It is sad to see, but that is how their culture works. If it's not a dog you see running around, there's a pretty safe bet that you'll see a chicken or multiple. They run and barefoot, hungry, children chase them to play or to steal eggs.
God broke my heart today. He is continuing to do so. I think He is breaking my heart so that there are no barriers between the love He has placed in my heart and the people of Honduras, so that the love can flow freely to all I meet. I pray that His light is shining to everyone  meet.
I just can not wrap my mind around everything. These people have little to nothing, yet the kids smile, laugh, and make the most with what they have. Something that is so simple to us is so incredibly to them. There are some beautiful people here. It is so hard to accept the fact that part of the reason everything is happening is because of the government and how corrupt the police are. There is no justice. The drug lords run the place and money is everyones god. It is hard to drive by an see military men dressed and armed, ready for someone to make a scene. Same with security gaurds. This has all been a huge cultural shock and I am sure it will continue to be.
In case I have not already given you enough info, here is what my day looked like:
I recieved a full tour of the farm and met many of the workers and of course all the animals (How much trouble would I be in if I brought back a baby sheep?).  After a lunch of tortillas and beans, we went to Puran, another small village in Singuatepeque, and checked in on people who Job and Adria have helped start gardens Many are tire gardens, meaning the seeds and soil are planted in a tire. After visiting the gardens, meeting new people, and taking a hike, we headed to get some more coffee (which is SO amazing here!), at HOPE Coffee, where I was able to connect to wifi and catch up with life in the United States( fun fact: People are ofended in you refer to the U.S. as America, because technically they are Americans too). Next we made a quick stop at a store and then stopped by Job's parents house, where I met some of his family and sang hymns with his mom. Such a lovely family! Then we headed to dinner where we had fried banana slices in some weird sauce. It ended up tasting so much better than I thought it would. I also tried a number of freshly picked, wild fruits including: Apple-bananas, Mandarins, papaya, and pure sugar cane. Day one was jam packed and I am ready to celebrate New Year's Eve here!

Prayer Requests:
Wisdom to teach little ones next week.
Adjusting to the culture and farm lifestyle
Health- I have developed and icky cold and my allergies are not diggin everything I'm encountering.
Safety- I am in very good hands, but there are things that can not be controlled. (Don't worry, I am fine, but it is just a precaution!)

Love,
Rebekah